Happy 90th Birthday Ella!

My flowers for Ella, and vase I made, too.











Yesterday was Ella's birthday. She was 90 years old. She was radiantly beautiful. I love Ella, and I loved her sister, my dear friend Doris who left us March a year ago. I will always miss Doris' smiling face and her warm greeting, always so happy to see me. She and Ella talked everynight, it was so endearing, two sisters so connected. Doris' husband, my friend, Don passed 3 years her when I lived across the street from them. I visited everyday. They brought joy to my life, they think I bought it to them, but it was the other way round. They made me feel like I had a family, inviting Daisy and I for Easter, and Thanksgiving, and sharing all aspects of their lives with us.
I miss them still!

Ella's brother died in January, so she is like me now, the only one left of her family of origin. It has been hard on her, I can see the strain. But she is still strong, and so sharp. Just like Dorie was. Ella is a tiny woman with a great spirit!

I went skating 4 miles at Greenlake yesterday afternoon after Ella's party. I had planned it and felt I needed to just do it, even though i was invited to go to Dotties for a barbeque, I had already committed myself to going.

I went to see Kim afterwards, she is a best friend who lives in Edmonds, and she and I went to college together, in Texas. It was no plan we ended up out here together, but she and her Mom, Dianne are also like family to me. Yet, I still feel, for some reason like I am on the outside looking in to lives that are contained, joined and that I am alone. I don't know what my purpose is. It used to be my kids, I guess, then Daisy, came along, and she was my purpose, and now... I feel lost. Is that inevitable? I wonder! I guess there have been a lot of losses, more than is natural for me, and maybe I am just sad missing everyone.

I have a new friend from Daily Om. Her name is Debbie. She is a Godsend. Warm, compassionate, really so loving and understanding, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate connecting with her. She is a woman with a lot of wisdom.
Well, today I will go to my studio, make more pots, and look for jobs, and maybe skate or walk a bit.I am thiking about Jim Croce's song now, (Time in a bottle) "There is never enough to do the things you wantto do once you find them." I guess I have not yet found them, but at times in my life I have and there have been times when my life was full, I guess this is just one of those times to learn other lessons! I must be a slow learner!