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July 24, 2005

Best time of my life, Raising Daisy

I was looking back at my blogs, and I see that come November, I will have been blogging a year. I was re-reading some of my first posts, and I realize I have not been as reflective about my experiences, or else, I have been too lazy to write! Well…maybe I have not been reflecting, and I don’t like that.

Daisy
Daisy in Leavenworth and snow when she was a little girl!

I love taking the time to reflect in life, about what is good, about what I sense, and feel, about color, light, rain drops and drizzle, and especially..fog!

Some of the very best times of my life were times when I wrote every single morning about 3Am, moon streaming into my window, there where I slept with my little Daisy. I would creep out of that tiny single bed she and I shared when she was 9, 10 and so on, and steal to the bistro by the window where the light flooded in from the moon. I could see the water lit up by the moon on the Sound a way from our house.

I lit candles and wrote in my journals, until I was sleepy and I would go back to bed and cuddle up beside her in the early morning hours until the alarm went off and we had to get up for school and work.

Daisy and Snow Kitty

I would get her ready for the bus, and once she was on the bus, I went running hills, came back, showered, and went to work. Got off work as soon as I could and picked her up from the Boys and Girls club program at school.

I think those days were the very very best of my life. After work and school I would get my hot water bottle and lie down for awhile, and she played Nintendo. I remember that many time asi was sick and she brought my hot water bottle to comfort me. I love her so much! I still get sentimental when I hear Mario playing. Then I would get up and make dinner, and we’d eat together, and spend the evening going to the store looking around, or just watchin tv. Weekends we’d go to Whidbey Island and run the logs together, or go to Snohomish to skate, and we’d pull each other on the trail.

Daisy now....


I miss her so much! She was my best friend for so many years, and now she is grown and gone and I wish I could go back. I think of all my life, I would stay in that time if I had to choose, even though in many ways it was a painful time for me, being with her was a treasure I can’t get over.

Of course, I was always so concerned for her safety, and I had to take extra care for her, and I was extremely attached and involved, beyond the normal parent /child relationship. Daisy is my Granddaughter that I raised. My family had died of origin by the time I was 32, so I had no help. It was lonely and yet so very full a the same time. I can’t explain it, how it was, I just miss that time, and I want my little girl back, I want her back so much!

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